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My PAWS Journal

Why I Made This Website

A Velázquez-inspired artist painting beside a modern city skyline, symbolizing sharing a personal recovery story with others.

Guilty ! I am a perma-lurker. A good one, honestly. I have read an unholy amount of forums, comment threads, Reddit posts, and research papers, and in all that time I have posted approximately nothing. I’m shy. I don’t love talking to strangers. The idea of putting my voice out there, on the actual internet, […]

A Clear Timeline Of Events (Illustrated)

TL;DR: I started benzodiazepines for anxiety and sleep, eventually developed tolerance and increased my dose, then abruptly stopped and experienced severe withdrawal. I reinstated, switched to diazepam and completed a slow taper, expecting recovery to follow, but instead developed PAWS and BIND that lasted for much longer than I expected. During that period I struggled with work, family and everyday life while trying different approaches and researching recovery. Eventually, I tried flumazenil, which helped enormously, while therapy and a strict sleep routine also became important parts of getting better. Today I am benzodiazepine-free, working, sleeping and rebuilding my life, even though I am not completely symptom-free.