Going Back On
TL;DR: After an abrupt withdrawal from clonazepam landed me in the ER, I learned about benzodiazepine dependence, discovered the Ashton Manual and realized I needed to taper rather than stop suddenly. I switched from clonazepam to diazepam and created a gradually decreasing taper, with larger reductions at higher doses and smaller ones as I got lower. The early part was easier than expected, but the taper became increasingly difficult, bringing symptoms such as anxiety, disrupted sleep, zaps, sensory sensitivity and emotional swings. I kept going despite the impact on work and relationships, while also starting therapy and working seriously on sleep. Looking back, I think I tapered too quickly, but at the time I was determined to get off the medication and believed the difficult part would end with the last dose.
The First Quitting
TL;DR: I stopped my prescribed clonazepam because my prescriber told me I could, without knowing how dangerous abrupt benzodiazepine withdrawal could be. After a couple of relatively quiet days, I suddenly developed severe anxiety, insomnia, a racing heart, depersonalization, sensory sensitivity and cognitive problems, and genuinely thought I was dying or losing my mind. I went to the emergency department, where the symptoms were recognized as possible benzodiazepine withdrawal and I was reinstated on my previous dose. The experience was terrifying, but it was also the moment I finally realized I needed to understand benzodiazepine withdrawal for myself.